The 5 Levels of Social Media Relationships
April 4, 2008 2:37 pm Social Media
Does having face-to-face interactions really have an impact on your friendships? Is someone going to be more faithful just because they have seen your face and had coffee with you?
Due to the anonymity that the internet provides, it is hard to establish trust with a person you have only interacted with on the internet. Many people who are not engaged in the social media space are perplexed by the friendships that are established online. For many, it’s a foreign concept that you can feel extremely close to someone you have never met. Through trial and error, you begin to realize who is loyal and trust-worthy and who is just there to pimp a link.
Here are the five levels of friendships:
Jedi
This person is a master in the online space. They serve as a mentor and provide you with information you could have never learned in any text book. Additionally, they are generous with their knowledge and time. Jedi cares about seeing you grow and invests the time in making sure that you meet your full potential. Beware, your mentor will likely reprimand you or hold you accountable for your mistakes. After all, they have a vested interest in seeing you excel.
iBestFriend
This relationship has evolved over a long period of time. Through mutual respect, trust, and openness, you feel absolutely comfortable in sharing private information with that individual. When something happens in your life, the iBestFriend is one of the first people you think to contact and ask for advice. You work hard to maintain this bond through reciprocity, accessibility, companionship, and compassion.
Buddy
This friendship is still in the beginning stages. You are starting to trust them and enjoy the relationship that is blossoming from your dialogues. During this phase you are laying the foundation for a very strong friendship. This is where a mistake made on either part can be detrimental to the dynamic. Loyalty isn’t guaranteed in this level of friendship, so be careful with what information you share.
e-quaintance:
This is a random person you have in your IM and are active in the same communities as you. You don’t interact with him/her frequently. But when you do, you are exchanging jokes, funny links, and engaging in casual banter. You know very little about each other’s personal lives, and you don’t really care to!
Link-lover
This person is solely in your IM to link stories to. You don’t intend to keep them around, just have one submissions-stands with them. Your lust for front page supersedes your interest in growing that dynamic into a real relationship. Simply, their sole purpose is to help you promote your stories. The only conversation you have ever had with them goes something like this:
<conversation>
You: Hey, can you digg this story? Really appreciate the help <link>
Link Lover: done!
You: Thanks a bunch. Let me know if you need anything.
Link Lover: n/p
</conversation>
April 4th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Awesome post. I am going to try to use “one submission-stands” tonight. I think I can work it in. Other than having funny pieces this is great insight into the social media world.
April 4th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
You are always a fun read
April 4th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Great post Reem..by the way can you Digg something for me??? LOL j/k
April 4th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
that’s awesome… because I can look at my IM list right now, and categorize everyone on there from these 5 levels.
This is a very true post.
April 4th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
This is so true. It’s amazing how much your real-life social skillz (yes, with a z) impact your influence and abilities within the online communities. I’ve seen users at all 5 of these levels, and appreciate those that take the time to “build relationships” as opposed to “share links”.
Nothing is more frustrating than seeing two “words” (outside of the link) from someone: plz + thx.
April 4th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Always a jedi’s maid… never a jedi.
Great post. Post on, playa!
April 4th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
For those wondering about the graphic, there is a Facebook application called “6 Degrees of Separation.” It was developed by Karl Bunyan.
April 4th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Nice post and so true … Great points.
Hey, Next you could graph out how much energy you have to expend to maintain each friend type. I know how you LUV, LUV, LUV the graphs1
April 4th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Very nice post my new friend. And, what happens to the link lover who uses no follow? ; )
You may need to add some additional categories.
- M
April 4th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
How about secret admirers?
April 4th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Enjoyed this very much. I suppose I have a few of all of them on my IM.
April 4th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
It definitely is very difficult to cultivate a comfortable level of trust with someone whom you only converse with online. So much that we use to judge a person’s intent is absent from text interactions that you can discern from verbal inflection, facial expressions, etc.
Being a very easy to contact fellow whose involved in many social sites, I’ll tell you that the link-lover bit is an extremely dead-on rendition of a quid pro quo linker conversation.
Great article!
April 4th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
[...] Here’s a great post on the 5 Levels of Social Media Relationships. [...]
April 5th, 2008 at 12:07 am
This was a very fun read. I’ve been going through all my online friends and sorting them according to the 5 levels you outlines.
I’ve already got at least one in each category but the last one.
April 5th, 2008 at 9:01 am
I have a relationship, however,a good friend is always welcome. (straight)
But Male friends are preferred. My girl friend would like that.(Born 5-6-35)
(Taurus)—Doug Rosbury
April 5th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Great post, really love the categorization. I have a little bit of both. But hey, there’s time to grow.
April 5th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
So true. I feel privileged to know some true Jedis (Reem, I’m looking at you) all the way down to the link-lovers (very apt description, i now understand why i sometimes feel so dirty afterwards).
April 5th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
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April 5th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
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April 5th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Very thoughtful post. One thing I’ve noticed is that there are very few “Jedis” out there. Most people seem to be in it for themselves. Friendships are earned, not granted, in the social media realm. It seems to take much longer to develop genuine relationships online, whereas you may be able to meet someone face-to-face and connect within minutes. There are exceptions though (Guy Kawasaki comes immediately to mind). Perhaps your post will spark some positive thoughts in others.
April 5th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Great article and topic. I have a Jedi and a few really close ibuddies but my ibestfriend is also someone I know outside in the real world (she is the Jedi too I suppose).
I would add potential business partner/collaborater, much like a work friend, to the list.
Also the eflirt friend, (either gender) where it’s funny and harmless but pretty frequent.
Thanks, Veronica
April 6th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
I know you put the top level as Jedi just for Greg.
April 6th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Great article. I’m sharing it like crazy!
April 6th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
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April 6th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Never thought of it like that, but it’s very true and mirrors my experiences. i have a few friends in other countries that i’ve met over facebook that i have become quite close to. If they were physically present, i would call them a “mate” (in the Aussie sense). My wife couldn’t understand it.
I guess the most annoying of the categories is the Link Lover. But all of us are link lovers to some degree - we might just tell someone to go look at a post we made and leave it assumed that if they like it they will digg etc it.
Great insightful post. Thanks.
April 6th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
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April 7th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Awesome post Reem! You nailed the relationship definitions as I could recall people that fit every category.
Nice work
April 7th, 2008 at 8:56 am
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April 7th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Very cool article! It’s good to know that I am Jedi, at least to one other person.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
I am currently an ‘iBestFriend’ soon to be at JEDI STATUS searching for other ‘iBestFriends’… check me out and maybe we could do a JV.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Great post. Now to sort through my list.
Doug
April 11th, 2008 at 10:02 am
[...] The 5 Levels of Social Media Relationships - Does having face-to-face interactions really have an impact on your friendships? Is someone going to be more faithful just because they have seen your face and had coffee with you? [...]
April 24th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Great post.
I thin I’m a link lover… I have many friends on digg but I only have a hand full that I actually have conversations with.. Where can anyone find time to manage 1000 friends online!
April 25th, 2008 at 12:59 am
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April 25th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Did I miss what you call it when it’s a real life friend who’s now also extended into social media space?
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