Does the Facebook Privacy Feature Complicate Friendships?
January 8, 2009 11:10 am Social Media
Raise your hand if you have ever asked your facebook “friend” why he restricted your view of his profile. Many users have found it offensive that a colleague has limited their access to their profile. After all, aren’t you supposed to be “friends”? Facebook has evolved to much more than a site that allows friends to reconnect and share a few laughs online. It is now a site that also serves as a professional, a personal branding, and relationship building tool.
My question is - Should you be facebook friends w/ someone who restricts your view of a large portion of their profile, (images, information and wall?) For me, it depends on who the “friend” is. Facebook offers the privacy setting for a reason – it allows users to still associate with colleagues and limit the amount of information shared with others. For those concerned about maintaining a professional relationship with their co-workers, they may block access to their wild pictures and status updates. For those who have parents as friends on facebook, the privacy feature may be a God send. But what if you are supposedly real-life friends with this person?
I asked the tweeple their opinion about having their access limited to their facebook friend’s profile
solessence: @rabeidoh Some people need a little privacy -if they are willing to let you in a portion and you’re interested, why not.
devindra: @rabeidoh Don’t see why not, maybe as they get to know you better they’ll relax those restrictions, but those privacy options are valid imo
DerrickWheeler: @rabeidoh I use the restricted profile for people that ive met but dont know well enough to give full access in hopes that someday I will
davechensky: @rabeidoh Gotta disagree with @devindra here. They are getting a lot more out of this “Relationship” than you are. Cut the bastard loose
devindra: @davechensky Not saying @rabeidoh shouldn’t do the same thing to this person, it only seems fair. Not a reason to drop someone entirely tho
I personally believe that when considering friends, quality matters more than quantity. I would prefer to develop relationships with a hundred people over having a thousand strangers as friends on my profile. The reason I am on facebook is to get to know my friends, blog readers, and social media chums better. I also want to provide them with the opportunity to learn more about me beyond my tweets, digg votes and Linkedin resume. In my case, blocking my followers from my wall, pictures and personal information disrupts the evolution of these relationships.
It is important to be careful about what you post on social media sites. I never depend on the privacy feature to protect my content – nor should you. If you don’t want the world knowing your phone number, just don’t post it. My rule of thumb is – if I don’t want mommy and daddy seeing it, I won’t post it. From a reputation management standpoint, it is important to be conscientious about what information you share on your profile, pictures you upload, comments you write on friend’s walls, and so on. Although there are people who don’t necessarily use facebook for personal branding, they should realize that future employers could be looking at their online profiles to learn more about them.
What about you? Do you get offended when your friends block your view of their pages (subject verb agreement)? How do you react to that? Do you delete them completely from your profile or do you just accept that your access to their profile is restricted?
January 8th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I’ve wondered a few times about why some profiles look different than before, and I agree if the person seems to be hiding something from just you for no reason, it’s obnoxious. But I think there are justifiable reasons for blocking some content for certain people (work friends versus “real” friends perhaps).
I actually just wrote a post on this myself; you can check it out here: http://www.alisondriscoll.com/index.php/actual-advice-on-using-facebook-both-personally-and-professionally/
January 8th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
I’ll be honest - I think it’s perfectly fine if colleagues set privacy measures on me. Not so sure if it were a person that I truly called a friend - then I may be upset.
For colleagues, I’ve recently started using the privacy settings and put them into a work group because I want to connect with them on FB but I feel that certain personal aspects (pictures) shouldn’t necessarily be shown to my professional network and potential employers.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Block ‘em. That’s what I’d do!
January 10th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
I have friends who have children on Facebook. I like seeing what they are up to, but I don’t want to know everything. I also have business friends who are much younger than me. I don’t necessarily want to see what they are up to socially either
January 11th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
I agree– if you don’t want everyone in the entire would to have access to it, don’t post it on the internet.
January 12th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
@Julie - That’s why there are restrictions, privacy options, etc. on sites other than Facebook. It’s not a matter of, if you don’t want everyone to see it don’t post it, it’s a matter of that person’s right to show what they want to whom they want because they like using that specific medium at hand.
January 28th, 2009 at 9:05 am
I am a wedding photographer and I don’t htinkit benefits me at all to restrict anything on my social media world, I am trying to build a relationship with my clients so they trust me with their wedding, their maternity images when the time comes, and thier family photos then their kids weddings. So I want them to know me on alot of levels and be comfortable with me. I hope my interactions show them my passion for my work.
February 8th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
It seems to me that there are many instances of where the concealment of personal information is important. An Australian Rules football player may find some discomfort at revealing that he takes ballet lessons to improve his footwork, yet wants to continue communication with his dance school friends. Admittedly that demonstrates a little bit of insecurity, but we play to the times in which we live?
Also, we may share selected personal diary observations with our high school friends, but should we be expected to open up those pages to our parents?
July 8th, 2009 at 8:15 am
I’ve actually run up against this issue very recently. A friend with whom I had been talking a lot to suddenly restricted her status updates and links from my view. I emailed her about it…though it is her right, I think its also fair to tell me why. She replied and said she didn’t know what was going on, that she didn’t change the settings.
I ran into her a few days later and the FB thing came up again. And again, she said she didn’t know what happened, that it happened to her with a friend and they swore they hadn’t restricted her. Sorry, but she must think I’m a fool to believe that just her status and links disappearing from my news feed and her profile page for no reason.
So, this is a very pertinent quetsion to me right now. Its one thing to restrict their profile, but its another thing entirely to then lie to me about it.