SOCIAL IMPRESSIONS

Every time I look at my news feed, I see another note from my friends that shares private aspects of their lives. It has been really interesting getting to know my friends in that personal way.

Since I am not facebook friends with many of you, I would love for you to get to know me personally. So, I’ve decided to share my “25 things about me” on my blog!

1- I love mixing popcorn and whoppers together. I only do it when I go to the movie theater. It just doesn’t taste the same anywhere else
2- I was born in Jerusalem, but I lived in UAE, Cyprus, Egypt and Morocco before coming to the US
3- My 2007 New Years goal was to remove all toxic and emotionally/mentally unhealthy people from my life. I have renewed that goal every year since because it has made me a happier person
4- All my life, people used to say that I’ll know when I meet “the one.” I always doubted it, until I met my fiance
5- I am more excited to be Howie’s wife than the actual wedding. I believe too many brides-to-be get caught up in the celebration and forget about the partnership
6- I LOVE vanilla ice cream with cinnamon sprinkled on top
7- I believe that one great friend is much better than 20 acquaintances
8- I recently lost 25 lbs. I also quit smoking 6 months ago!
9- When I make a mistake, I am harder on myself than anyone ever will be
10- I am a workaholic and don’t think there is anything wrong with it
11- The most beautiful country I ever visited was Malaysia. My mom and I had the best trip/adventure to date!
12- I become very irritable and bitchy when I am hungry and/or tired
13- When something really sad happens, my first reaction is to smile or laugh. It isn’t because I find it funny, it is just my way of protection
14- I am a perfectionist. I can’t settle for average
15- I truly believe things happen for a reason and is part of our journey through life
16- I have a major shoe addiction… like really, it’s serious!
17- I get upset when my dogs, Dakota and Amira, ignore me and run to their daddy
18- Last month, I discovered that red wine actually tastes a lot better than white wine
19- I know the lyrics to ONLY one song, “Fly me to the moon”
20- I played the piano for 10 years, until I came to the US 9 years ago. One of my biggest regrets is not pursuing it
21- I hate that I love watching “Housewives of Orange County/New York/Atlanta” Those ladies are ridiculous, but it is so addictive
22- When I go to NY, I bring with me the craziest clothes. NY allows… actually ENCOURAGES … you to be creative, adventurous and daring! I LOVE NYC!
23- I feel like there is a purpose for everyone on this earth
24- I get SO peeved with ignorant and racist people, especially those who share opinions and make blanket statements without knowing what they are talking about
25- My proudest moment to date is graduating with my master’s degree in media communications with a 3.95 GPA

As the social media space is growing, one can find many sites that appeal to every interest and lifestyle. As soon I got engaged a year ago, I wanted to learn as much as possible about planning my wedding. As usual, the interwebs did not fail me. Not only were there sites to help me learn what is involved in the planning process, the vendors were also active on these sites. Although it seems like the wedding 2.0 industry is still relatively young, I believe that it is going to take the online world by storm.

Social media hasn’t only been a research vehicle for me; it has also served as a way for me to connect with my potential and current vendors. I believe that if they know you better, then their work will reflect your personality. Many of the vendors I met were extremely knowledgeable and can execute my vision to perfection. The element that set them apart was their personality. Although one-on-ones are a great way to meet people, I feel like I learned more about them by reading their tweets, blogs, and checking out their facebook profiles. In the end, I hired the vendors I clicked with!

Below is my online journey with some of my vendors:

Wedding Planners:

Due to my busy schedule, I realized that planning this massive celebration would be very challenging. Although I wanted to maintain creative control, I couldn’t take care of all the details, do all the research, and do all the legwork.

In order to identify top wedding planners in the St. Louis region, I visited review sites and forums. Based on the comments written by other brides about their experiences with the wedding planners, I was able to pinpoint five potential candidates. Unlike hand-picked testimonials posted on websites, I believe that comments on forums are more legitimate and credible.

Meeting with them wasn’t enough for me to make a final decision. I really needed to know if I could have a relationship with them for the next year. Hoping they were social media users as well, I looked online to see if they had any profiles. As soon as I saw Shelli Alred’s pictures and profile on Facebook, I fell in love with her spunky, creative and gregarious personality. I immediately knew she would get my vision. She was hired the following day and I have yet to regret my decision.

Dresses:

While working with Shelli, I have been able to make quick and informed decisions. How many women can say that they picked their wedding dress after visiting ONE store and buying the THIRD one they tried on? Me, I can!

I believe that the many hours I spent online viewing dresses really helped me make my decision. I was privy to the latest fashion designs in the wedding industry. I even bookmarked a picture of my dress to share with dear friends who want to see it. Ok, fine, I admit that I sneak peaks at it at least once a month.

Invitations:

I really liked the idea of customizing my invitations to match the theme of my wedding. Since our wedding is reminiscent of the 1001 Arabian Nights, I wanted to make sure that it was an integral part of the final design. During my meeting with Melissa Haley, we worked together to design my invitations, save the dates, menus, agenda, etc.

The first thing I did after receiving the quote from Melissa is check online on sites like on Wedding Paper Divas to make sure that I am getting a competitive price. I was so excited to see that there wasn’t much of a price difference!

Photographers:

The most challenging decision I’ve had to make thus far is picking a photographer. I am a big fan on the photojournalistic style. I searched for a photographer who can document the love my fiancé and I share. I noticed a major trend while visiting different photographers’ sites. They don’t only feature picture galleries, they also blog! I filtered out many of the photographers based on whether I connected with their blog.

One of the photographers who really grabbed my attention was Joanne Kleine. I was really disappointed to find that she was not available to shoot my wedding. However, we connected on facebook and had a long chat. Thanks to our conversation, I was referred to a few other top photographers in town. I look forward to closing the deal on this portion on the wedding planning really soon.

Raise your hand if you have ever asked your facebook “friend” why he restricted your view of his profile. Many users have found it offensive that a colleague has limited their access to their profile. After all, aren’t you supposed to be “friends”? Facebook has evolved to much more than a site that allows friends to reconnect and share a few laughs online. It is now a site that also serves as a professional, a personal branding, and relationship building tool.

My question is - Should you be facebook friends w/ someone who restricts your view of a large portion of their profile, (images, information and wall?) For me, it depends on who the “friend” is. Facebook offers the privacy setting for a reason – it allows users to still associate with colleagues and limit the amount of information shared with others. For those concerned about maintaining a professional relationship with their co-workers, they may block access to their wild pictures and status updates. For those who have parents as friends on facebook, the privacy feature may be a God send. But what if you are supposedly real-life friends with this person?

I asked the tweeple their opinion about having their access limited to their facebook friend’s profile

solessence: @rabeidoh Some people need a little privacy -if they are willing to let you in a portion and you’re interested, why not.

devindra: @rabeidoh Don’t see why not, maybe as they get to know you better they’ll relax those restrictions, but those privacy options are valid imo

DerrickWheeler: @rabeidoh I use the restricted profile for people that ive met but dont know well enough to give full access in hopes that someday I will

davechensky: @rabeidoh Gotta disagree with @devindra here. They are getting a lot more out of this “Relationship” than you are. Cut the bastard loose

devindra: @davechensky Not saying @rabeidoh shouldn’t do the same thing to this person, it only seems fair. Not a reason to drop someone entirely tho

I personally believe that when considering friends, quality matters more than quantity. I would prefer to develop relationships with a hundred people over having a thousand strangers as friends on my profile. The reason I am on facebook is to get to know my friends, blog readers, and social media chums better. I also want to provide them with the opportunity to learn more about me beyond my tweets, digg votes and Linkedin resume. In my case, blocking my followers from my wall, pictures and personal information disrupts the evolution of these relationships.

It is important to be careful about what you post on social media sites. I never depend on the privacy feature to protect my content – nor should you. If you don’t want the world knowing your phone number, just don’t post it. My rule of thumb is – if I don’t want mommy and daddy seeing it, I won’t post it. From a reputation management standpoint, it is important to be conscientious about what information you share on your profile, pictures you upload, comments you write on friend’s walls, and so on. Although there are people who don’t necessarily use facebook for personal branding, they should realize that future employers could be looking at their online profiles to learn more about them.

What about you? Do you get offended when your friends block your view of their pages (subject verb agreement)? How do you react to that? Do you delete them completely from your profile or do you just accept that your access to their profile is restricted?

My fiance posted the following status on his facebook profile Friday morning: Howard McAuliffe is wondering if social media people tend to be anti-social when not on media. I am sure many people have asked this question before, and bloggers have addressed it at some point or another.

I think the first point to address is the term “social media people.” I have participated in many sites this past year and have yet to see an average Digg member or a Tweep referring to himself as a “social media person.” I think marketers coined that term to easily identify users who engage in the space. That term has gained traction where “online users” is now synonymous with “social media people.” A user can be engaged online but not be social with others. I think this is an important distinction to make.

Having made that distinction, I believe Howard’s question was with regards to users who are social and have conversations with one another. They are naturally participating in the space, providing content that they consider valuable/funny/intelligent/silly and sharing their opinions with the masses. When looking at it from this angle, it makes me wonder - is socializing online equivalent to being social offline?

While I am very active online, it is no more than I am in real life. I follow 600+ people on Twitter. I read their tweets, and respond to the ones that appeal to me. If I have something personal to say, I will send them a direct message. If I really connect with a fellow user, I will move the conversation to IM or email. Over time, a friendship may blossom. So far, that type of relationship has only developed with 20% of the total users I connect with online. My online social activity mirrors that in real life - we only build relationships with people who share common interests and we connect with.

The internet has evolved allowing people to easily voice their opinions and be heard by the masses. Although there are commonalities between social behavior online and offline, they aren’t regarded the same. A user shouldn’t automatically be deemed anti-social just because he doesn’t feel like going out with a bunch of friends on a given night. If a person constantly declines human interactions in favor of playing on the internet, perhaps there is an addiction issue at hand. Obviously, I am not addressing online addicts or hermits in this discussion.

To directly answer Howard’s question, I would have to say that it depends on the person. I know, it sounds like a cop-out response, but I can’t speak for the millions of online users and their varied social desires or habits. I close with these questions - There are many online users who have more friends online than in real life. Given this, is there a viable correlation between a person’s online activity and whether they are anti-social in real life? And if someone is more social online than in real life, does that mean he shares more common interests with his online community of friends?